About us, Without us

 

This week I have had the opportunity to really see what trained self-advocates think of those who are not able to speak and share their own experiences or opinions.  I have been told over and over again by these trained self-advocates that as a parent/guardian, that my observations are self-serving and that “Nothing about us, without us”, the catch phase of self-advocates has nothing to do with guardians.

Sara Luterman for blog

 

Sara Luterman, editor of NOS Magazine, wrote “”Nothing about us without us” refers to disabled people. Since you are not disabled, it’s not about you.” Ms. Luterman sent me a link to an article she wrote in The Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism  and then added “You may find this helpful, particularly, ” Just because someone has difficulty voicing a coherent opinion, it doesn’t mean you get to hoist him or her up like some kind of grotesque ventriloquist dummy.”  Thank you, Ms. Luterman for letting me know what you think of people I know and love.

Comments from NOS editor Sara Luterman

Ms. Luterman makes many assumptions regarding the role of a guardian and clearly does not understand the legal and court appointed responsibility that a guardian has – that is to represent the person in their best interest.  If this role is denied, I’m curious how these trained self-advocates involve and understand those who are not able to voice their opinions to those who do not understand them.  While pushing their agenda forward without understanding or allowing those with guardians to share their perspective and needs they are practicing discrimination against those more vulnerable than the self-advocates who can read, write and speak themselves.

The censorship that is practiced by several groups of trained self-advocates makes it appear that there is unanimity in their advocacy for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.  In fact, the opposite is true.  Even when people write “I am interested in others perspective on this, other than my own” the editor will not allow another perspective to be shared.

This is one reason that I write on this blog – to share other opinions and learn from others.  I have learned a great deal by the fact that I have been blocked from several sites that are run by trained self-advocates.  They have no intention of understanding the needs of others and are acting like selfish adolescents who are rebelling against their parents.   Will they continue on their developmental path to adulthood?

Comments to NOS Magazine regarding Mental Age Theory Sept 2017

 

NOS Magazine would not publish a comment responding to another parent asking for others perspective

Mental Age Theory – Censored

Posting as a follow up to my previous post.  Apparently the editor of NOS Magazine did not approve of the comments that I and another advocate posted.  The comments have been deleted.  I have not received an answer from the editor regarding the reason for deletion.

In trying to describe situations and characteristics we often use similes and metaphors to
help those who are not familiar with jargon understand the situation. When using these
figures of speech, we are in no way belittling the person or saying that person is any less or more than anyone else. These figures of speech are extremely common and are used
throughout all types of writing and speech.
Maybe this is part of the problem with trying to describe a person. When saying that a
“person acts like a toddler ” we are using a simile – it is not saying that person is a toddler at all. It is describing that particular behavior at that particular moment or situation. In the case of my son, his behavior or understanding may not be typical for a 24-year-old in that particular situation.
One could also say that “he is a toddler” which is a metaphor. The simple definition of a
metaphor is that a metaphor states that one thing IS another thing but the statement is not literal – it is just figurative. Many may misinterpret this as the speaker actually saying this is true when in the fact the speaker was using a metaphor.
In the issues of trying to describe the support needs (be it physical, intellectual, behavioral or other) we often need to use similes to help others who are unfamiliar with that person or situation be able to grasp the magnitude of the need. Again, in no way does this figure of speech demean the person being spoken about but can help those understand the level of supports that may be needed to help that person be successful.
One other example of this is referring to a person with progeria as having the body like an old person. The person with progeria is a child but their bodies age prematurely and they have many health issues that are typically seen in the geriatric population. I wonder if people with progeria are offended if they are refered to as having the body of an old person?
Using similes and metaphors as figures of speech is a common and needed practice to help people understand others. We all have reference ideas in our heads about various things.
I’m sorry that people may not understand this issue but that is how the English language
works – it’s not the only confusing thing about this language

I have had contact with the author of the article “Mental Age Theory Hurts People with Intellectual Disabilities” and I hope to meet with her and my son in the near future.  This is my attempt at trying to bridge the gap that is present due to what I refer to as “motive asymmetry”

Below is a link to the deleted comments – these are my comments and responses that were deleted.

NOS deleted my comments on mental age Sept 2017

 

Local News | What did and didn’t pass in Legislature this year | Seattle Times Newspaper

When I read this article and see no mention of SSB 5459 in this – I realize that the bill that was so critical in my mind was of little significance to the state as a whole.  I have a hard time coming to grips with this and then wonder, if this bill was of such little significance, why didn’t legislators listen to the sensible and responsible facts that were brought to their attention and vote NO on SSB 5459?  There must be another reason that overrode responsibility, basic human and civil rights, personal choice on residence as guaranteed under the Federal Olmstead decision and the Centers for Medicaid and Medicare Services guidelines.

If anyone could enlighten me as to what deals were made which caused this bill to pass I would love to know.  Maybe if I understood what was exchanged in order for a responsible, humane and sensible person to vote yes on this bill,  I could understand why innocent people were made scapegoats for such an “insignificant” bill.

Local News | What did and didn’t pass in Legislature this year | Seattle Times Newspaper.

Mama Bear is Showing Up!

Happy Mother’s Day –

Every one knows how ferocious a mama bear can be protecting her cubs and knows to get out of the way.  I’m feeling like that mama bear right now and getting madder and madder.  Someone is attempting to hurt my child – not just my child but the children of many of us and it’s time to step back or it won’t be pretty.

I’m tired of being nice and playing the game.  I’m tired of DDD case managers denying services to children and adults who are needing services and who are approved for those services yet DDD continues to deny them.  I’m tired of the  DDC acting as if they know what’s best for our most vulnerable citizens yet shunning and censoring information from the experts – parents and caregivers.  I’m tired of so-called “disability advocates” from The Arc chapters behaving as if they care about our most vulnerable citizens and I’m mostly tired of all people from those agencies deliberately causing harm to our citizens.

I can tell you that a DDD case manager wondered why I didn’t restrict fluids from my son so that he would not wet his bed.  This was not just a little wet, this was a monster wetting which necessitated laundering every bit of bedding every day due to being soaked.  This was not a case of simple bedwetting but a case of neurogenic bladder that only relaxed at night so that was the only time he could really empty his bladder – while he was asleep – the only time his body ever relaxed (that is if he did sleep.)

This is the same DDD Children’s manager who I overheard tell my son’s case worker “do not offer them anything.”  That was after a meeting I had with them while he was hospitalized his for the 5th time in Seattle Children’s Inpatient Psychiatric Unit, psychotic and manic.  We had looked at Fircrest for him, we and his healthcare team knew it would be the best place for him – particularly since we had been told that another hospitalization would not be approved.  Our son was 14 and the DDD Children’s manager said “DON’T OFFER THEM ANYTHING?”

What is wrong with this picture?  Whatever it is – it needs to change and I’m doing my best to make changes.  Just as Ed Holen and Sue Elliott from the DDC and The Arc say on their Olympia Insider videos on Youtube “Change is made by those who show up.”

I’m going to be showing up!

DDD Errors and misinformation

Due to continued reliance on the reports from DDD and DSHS, I am now writing daily reports informing our senators of the flawed data and analysis in the information they are receiving.  If anyone would like sources of the original documents and data, let me know – I have them.

Quality of Life?

Many People ask about the Quality of Life of our citizens whose home is an RHC community.

The residents in the RHC community have a quality life – one that ensures their health and safety, social and recreational activities and community interaction.  These are qualities that would not be available to many of these residents in various other environments.

Above all, the human rights of our citizens are protected and celebrated on the RHC community.  This is something that can not be said about residences in many of the “community” residences that Susan Dreyfus, DSHS Secretary, and others want to exile our residents to.

The Arc of Island & Skagit Counties

What is advocacy?

Maybe I’m being an idealist but what I see happening is not what I call advocacy.  I see people being used and paraded in front of our legislators.  These people, many who have a developmental disability are being given statements to read.  I really wonder how many of these statements are actually self-directed.

I have been asked  if RHCs are so great, why don’t we see people down in Olympia who say “We LOVE RHCs” –  asked by a prominent advocate from The Arc of Island and Skagit Counties who regularly accompanies self-advocates in testimonies.   Just the fact that she asks that question indicates to me that she is unaware of the significant complexities that many of the residents whose home is an RHC deal with.

I have thought of taking my son to Olympia too but I don’t want to use him as a puppet.  It would be an eye opener for many though to experience him first hand and to have a frame of reference as to the vast continuum there is when talking about people with developmental disabilities.

I have written to Joy Caldwell, Executive Director of The Arc of Island and Skagit Counties,  twice with the hope of having a discussion. She has not responded but she did post this on their Facebook page.

The Arc of Island & Skagit Counties

“So in the spirit of open dialogue, I would like to hear from anyone interested in posting their thoughts on the topic of Supported Employment, Community Access & Day programs in light of our WA House & Senate Budget proposals for people with Developmental Disabilities. What do you think…?”

Hi Joy,  (April 15, 2011)

I wrote to you a few days ago asking for open discussion.  I have not heard from you but did notice that on the Facebook page for The Arc of Island and Skagit County, you posted this ” So in the spirit of open dialogue, I would like to hear from anyone interested in posting their thoughts on the topic of Supported Employment, Community Access & Day programs in light of our WA House & Senate Budget proposals for people with Developmental Disabilities. What do you think…?”

I tried to comment but it appears that I’m blocked from commenting.  How can one have an open discussion when people would want to engage in one are blocked and censored?  This does not make sense.

Does she really want an open discussion?  If so, why are people not allowed to comment?